Main

June 19, 2007

summer's eve

"I think the part I remember most was that when she walked into the room, this burst of 'clean' just filled the room. It wasn't perfume or shampoo or a scented lotion. It was just 'clean.' Well-groomed, I guess."

That's what I like to hear. Especially after reading this.

April 04, 2007

look away, baby

"Apparently when team Jolie-Pitt's pride is in the house other parents aren't allowed to take pics of their kids' birthday parties. 'Parents are instructed not to look at Angelina,' one source says."

April 03, 2007

sneeze the day

"He was cremated and I couldn't resist grinding him up with a little bit of blow. My dad wouldn't have cared.... It went down pretty well, and I'm still alive."

March 03, 2007

i'm yawning with outrage

I've always held that Ann Coulter is just a glorified lowest-common-denominator performance artist, not unlike an insult comic, who merely says outrageous things to get the attention she invariably and unfortunately receives. That said, she's still a hate-mongering manure spokes-skeleton. Winking and nudging only go so far.

February 10, 2007

bunny nicole smith

"Of course, one of the cheapest journalistic tricks going is to get a piece of a mindless, tawdry media frenzy by denouncing it. The writer gets to wallow profitably in whatever gutter has everybody's attention while still being wry and high-minded. The readers get to join the fun without losing their self-respect. It's a win-win sort of arrangement for a certain knowing-wink-and-sly-nod wing of the media culture."

Just to wallow for a moment, I've also perversely been reminded of a passage from The Secret History:

"It was this unreality of character, this cartoonishness, if you will, which was the secret of his appeal and what finally made his death so sad. Like any great comedian, he colored his environment wherever he went; in order to marvel at his constancy you wanted to see him in all sorts of alien situations: Bunny riding a camel, Bunny babysitting, Bunny in space. Now, in death, this constancy crystallized and became something else entirely: he was an old familiar jokester cast—with surprising effect—in the tragic role." (p.357)

I should probably go think about global warming now.

February 09, 2007

eight ways till sunday

(Okay, several more.)

turning to smigel in times of tragedy

In light of recent events.

January 30, 2007

what goes around

No surprises there.

January 17, 2007

overcooked

"Could it be that the biggest comedic phenomenon since Andrew 'Dice' Clay still has time to thump his detractors one by one via MySpace message?"

greek gawd

"She's interested in befriending normal moms so she can do things with the kids." Ha.

January 04, 2007

slinging mud

"[Trump] also complained that O'Donnell has made fun of his hair, to which Vieira remarked that he had called O'Donnell a 'fat pig.'"

I love it.

September 03, 2006

douche cook

"Even Cook's delivery isn't noteworthy or unique; he sprinkles 'bro' and 'dude' into every story, he's terrible at impressions and when he's imitating a woman, he inexplicably speaks in a high voice with a lisp, as if he's doing a homophobic imitation of a gay man."

August 27, 2006

ears are deaf

Is it completely credibility-annihilating that I don't despise a couple of tracks off [NAME REDACTED]'s new album? I mean, the rest of the songs are syphilitic crap, but the afore-linked tunes are reasonably catchy. Like crabs.

(In the interest of full disclosure, I liked a track off a [NAME ALSO REDACTED] album for about five minutes in 2003. It's been three years since my last confession, blah blah blah. Your humble servant, &c.)

January 06, 2006

skin reduction surgery-deep

"Poor Star Jones. She finally nets herself a man, someone who can see past her unconventional looks to her inner non-beauty...." Heh.