June 17, 2017

brain candy

Watching people strenuously opine on social media for over a decade now has ironed most of my opinions flat out of me. My brain doesn't even have creases anymore. It's just a smooth, featureless jellybean.

April 24, 2015

the mirror has two asses

Anytime I find myself looking down on something harmless that makes other people happy, I try to take a step back and look down on myself instead.

March 3, 2014

warp-jumping to conclusions

When only two plot points are known to you, the impulse to draw a line between them is irresistible.

February 9, 2014

words with myself

You can't spell "let go" without "ego."

December 1, 2013

the truman show

The trouble with fame, or its fuck-up brother, notoriety, is that it tends to amplify even simple pleasures and preferences into transactions. Once you're publicly traded, everything's an endorsement or a joint venture.

October 24, 2013

airs apparent

The only thing worse than false familiarity is false formality.

September 1, 2013


You can like all the same things as someone and have nothing in common with them.

August 2, 2013


Astronomers study variations in brightness. They watch seasons change on other planets. You get to know someone, you get to know their atmosphere. You can see their moods come and go even from a distance.

July 1, 2013

minuit à paris

Nostalgia is often just a failure of imagination.

June 3, 2013

mixed metaphors

Love is true but it isn't always clear. It's a heady brew of cross-purposes in unlikely harmony. That's why, when it fails, it breaks down into things like resentment and hatred and sadness and anger, because all those things are contained within it, three hundred sixty degrees of contrary impulses buoying the heart in every direction—taut and shiny, a rising balloon.

May 25, 2013

slow blink

On a long enough timeline the universe wins every staring contest.

April 5, 2013

we are infinite

There are people who happen to like us even though they don't seem like they ought to like us, whose friendships offer windows on lives lived differently, on other ways to be in the world.

January 2, 2013

schrödinger's delight

Happiness that demands an audience isn't happiness—it's performance.

December 1, 2012

the light between oceans

It is often said that a little knowledge is a dangerous thing. It is less often observed, but equally true, that a lot of knowledge is an opportunity to be generous.

November 10, 2012


Apology and forgiveness aren't weakness. Anger is weakness.

October 2, 2012


There's the mean way and there's the intelligent way. The mean way is often also the lazy way and the intelligent way the humane way.

September 1, 2012

am, become

With some people you're just yourself. And with some people you're the best version of yourself.

August 7, 2012


Status is illness and illness is stillness.

July 16, 2012

caveat friendster

People who constantly remind you who they are and what they do for a living are trying to sell you something.

June 4, 2012


Some days the light of the sun hits you in an unexpected way, finds you in a place you didn't think it could reach; and just like that all the doors, all the windows are open, have always been open, were never not open.

May 3, 2012

deep breaths

The problem with holding a grudge is that it turns your body into a sarcophagus.

April 1, 2012

burden of goof

If one is to enjoy the privilege of making fun of something, one must also bear the responsibility of having empathy for the thing that is being made fun of.

March 18, 2012

turn on, boot up, jack in, wig out

William Gibson once described cyberspace as a "consensual hallucination" but social networking is more like a consensual manic episode.

February 26, 2012


Forgive mistakes. Embrace that love is clumsy. Communicate without condescension. Let people go. Let people return.

January 22, 2012


It's not really romantic until it's doomed.

December 2, 2011


There's a difference between loving w-o-r-d-s and loving language.

November 14, 2011


If you're always winking, your eyes aren't really open.

October 9, 2011

e pluribus unum

As important as it is not to become a parody of oneself, it is equally as important not to come off as a critique of everyone else.

September 1, 2011

until lambs become lions

An ordeal is an invitation from the universe to rise to the occasion.

August 5, 2011

senior superlatives

Something about the way the internet amplifies a signal even as it degrades it has a way of driving people to express even their most casual preferences and interests in the fervent, breathless argot of fetishism.

July 6, 2011

celebrate good enough times

There's a fine line between celebrating and showing off.

June 3, 2011

watching our backs

Once you arrive at the truth it can't sneak up on you anymore.

June 1, 2011


After a while we discover that some of our beliefs are merely opinions—and a little later, that some of our opinions are just feelings.

May 2, 2011

frame of deference

The most insidious way to be mean to someone is to be extraordinarily kind to everyone else.

April 2, 2011


Sometimes we're on the same page. Sometimes our pages are just stuck together.

March 2, 2011

gravity wells

Commiseration isn't empathy in the same way that proximity isn't intimacy.

February 9, 2011

what motivates us

Sometimes we mistake fear for ambition.

January 14, 2011

hold dear

As we get older, and time grows precious, empty gestures become costly.

December 15, 2010

held in common

Loving the same things isn't the same thing as loving each other.

November 26, 2010

old magic

Death may have existed forever but life has been around even longer.

November 5, 2010

memento mori

Some people are memorable. Other people remind us of them.

October 25, 2010


An adult can forgive what a child can't understand.

October 10, 2010


A small bird alights the tip of a Mediterranean Cypress. The tree's entire column sways. The whole world seems impossible, possible in that idle instant. And then the bird is gone and the tree is still.

September 29, 2010


There are sunsets; and then there's watching … the sun … set.

September 26, 2010

it evens out

If you can't love someone a hundred percent of the way they want, at least love them a hundred percent of the way you can.

September 25, 2010

right now

Nothing matters as much or as little as this moment.

September 7, 2010

turn turn turn

Drilling too deep into something you like is usually a recipe for making it impossible to enjoy.

August 31, 2010

junk bonds

There's no one cheaper than a person who's free with his anger.

August 22, 2010

lateral move

Once, I carried anxiety in my chest. Today it resides in sidebars, on social networking sites.

August 14, 2010

random signal transformations

Sometimes the only silence is noise.

August 3, 2010

tempus fugitive

I think I used to be able to appreciate condensed pockets of time. Now I'm greedy. I want oceans. I want eternity.

hope and faith

There's a difference between being faithful and being reliable.

July 10, 2010


Critical thinking is important; so is kindness.


People are entitled to their happiness, even when it's on our behalf.

July 8, 2010


Old sad songs that are new to me have a way of stirring long-dormant hurts.

June 6, 2010

hearts and minds

There is a kind of intelligence that seeks footholds in other people's ignorance, that finds leverage in asymmetry and disequilibrium. The exerciser of such an intelligence often relies on the obliviousness of those closest to him to furnish his schemes, viewing their complacence as a form of acquiescence; but what intelligent, manipulative people seldom realize, for all their sophistication, is that it isn't always the absence of guile or worldliness that affords their movements trespass without notice; in truth, they have been observed and recognized: it is merely that they are also loved—and for all the things that love gets hung up on and obsesses over, there is also so much more that love accommodates and overlooks and even forgives. Sometimes we get away with things because we have willing, adoring accomplices.

May 15, 2010

love is a battlefield

You can't choose who you love but you can pick your battles.

May 13, 2010


One way to avoid forming a meaningful opinion about something is to avoid the thing itself.

May 7, 2010

through line

There's a difference between trying hard and working hard.

May 5, 2010

to everything there is a season

Nostalgia is nostalgia up to a point. After that point it becomes a fetish. (After that point it becomes morbid.)